forever till forever meets no end

Monday, April 30, 2007 @7:13 PM

just came home from another horrible training and i really conclude that i suck damn badly.
and sorry cheryl my dear captain its no use telling me i look good or i look ok. i think i have a thick mental block which totally blocks out the compliments other people give me or something. its like totally no use telling me i'm ok. cause deep down inside i know i'm not up to my own expectations.

expectations.
i think almost everything i do in this life of mine revovles around my own expectations for myself and everything. i know almost everybody i know calls me a perfectionist and says my expectations are too high. i'm starting to think that no matter how low my expectations are or if i ever reach my high expectations i still won't be happy with myself.

someone tell me what kind of life i live.

i should be totally studying for MYAs but i feel like slacking. damn it. i'm totally gonna flunk everything. the smartest thing i can do is let down myself in both my studies and gym. i know i need to priorities. but both gym and studies are equally important to me. that i know. and i can't stand if one is imperfect remember? damn it.

i love veron my dear best best friend, cheryl, melinda and chelsea so much :D <333333

thanks so much for almost always being there :)